April 08, 2021

Your Ultimate Sexy Guide on How to Have Phone Sex for Beginners

Phone sex! One of the many perks of being alive in the digital age. And while face-to-face intimate encounters are fantastic, a little phone sex can go a long way when it comes to expressing your sexual desires, getting to know someone in a less intimidating way, and engaging in some super sexy foreplay.

Is there anything hotter than feeling your nether regions tingle with your lover, even when you’re miles apart? Arguably no! And let’s not forget about the devastating effects that COVID-19 has brought! For some, the ability to engage in long distance phone sex is simply the most practical option.

But we understand that if you’re a newbie to phone sex, it can seem a little daunting. Or perhaps you’re really excited to give it a whirl, but are completely unsure of where to start? Do you want to know how to do phone sex so that it’s a thrilling and titilating experience for all? Consider this your ultimate guide on how to have phone sex!

Today, we’re going to answer all of your burning questions, like: What is phone sex? How to get started, best phone sex techniques and tips, what to say during phone sex, as well as a few saucy phone sex examples to get you going. Ready to get indulge?

What is Phone Sex?

Phone sex is when two or more people engage in sexually-charged and erotic conversation via a telephone. It’s a kind of foreplay that evokes sexual arousal and can include one or more partners masturbating whilst talking on the phone.

Of course today, the art of phone sex has changed quite rapily from calls and phone sex businesses operating from a landline to smartphone chats and texts (or rather, sexts: sending and receiving sexually explicit messages, photos, videos, or voice notes).

Which is why phone sex could just be seen as an umbrella term for arousing calls or media. In fact, in a 2019 study, 31 percent of surveyed individuals admitted to trying phone sex at least once.

What’s great about phone sex is that it can be taken into a number of different of directions. From dirty talk to guided fantasy, role playing, sexualised sounds, and exploring new sexual topics, this practice can be highly erotic for all involved.

How to Have Phone Sex

Phone sex isn’t merely the act of picking up the phone and diving right in! One of the most arousing things about phone sex, is the build up. And here are some of the first things you’ll want to do:

Initiate consent: consent is sexy, talk about having phone sex before you have phone sex.
Trust: revenge porn is a thing! You don’t want to share personal information, images, or other kinds of media with someone you don’t trust. We’re not telling you not to share erotic content, but just be sure that you fully trust the person who is going to receive it. You may also want to consider hiding or blurring your face in any images or videos.
Build anticipation: start with something light and flirty that’ll pave the way for even racier phone sex. For example, describing a sensual outfit you’re wearing, or giving your partner a cheeky compliment.
Get warmed up: Phone sex can be incredible when you’re already feeling frisky. Why not whip out your favourite erotic novel or watch a sexy video clip to get those juices flowing before phone sex?
Preparation and no distractions: Imagine you’re halfway to O-Town and your roommate decides to barge in, or your phone battery dies! Disaster!
Ambience: for those who strongly believe in a warm and sensual ambience for intimate moments, this is the perfect time to light some candles, slip on something luscious, or pour yourself a glass of champagne.
Active listening: While phone sex is a great way to really open up about sexual fantasies, some may feel embarassed to admit certain likes or kinks that they have. It’s up to both of you to be judgement-free, and to try to read between the lines to see if your partner is dropping subtle hints about something they’re interested in.
Pleasure yourself: this one is optional, but if your phone sex session has gotten you all riled up, masturbation is a beautiful way to share an intimate moment with someone long distance, while getting a glorious release. You could engage in mutual masturbation, when all participants masturbate at the same time. It’s also at this time that you could bring out your favourite sex toys!

What to Say During Phone Sex

At a loss for words when it comes to verbalising your sexual thoughts and feelings? Here’s a cheat sheet, guiding you on what to say during phone sex!

Start slow: when it’s go-time, avoid jumping into some heavy sexual scenes or scenarios from the get-go. Imagine it to be like sensual in-person foreplay, locking eyes, kissing, touching, and becoming more and more aroused as you go.
Get heated: Once you’ve set the scene, you can start getting a little more racier with your phone sex. This is where creativity and explicit details really count. Use descriptive and raunchy words to make your phone sex even more steamy, describing your thoughts, desires, and fantasies without shame or inhibitions.
Be wordy: If you’re masturbating, you could verbalise all the kinky and sexy kinds of stimulation you’re experiencing, mentally and physically. It’s also great to add some colour to your vocabulary. So instead of only using one particular word to describe certain acts or body parts, look for alternatives to spice things up.
Two to tango: phone sex isn’t merely a one-person experience. It’s important to listen to your partner, responding to what they have to say so that it’s an effortless wave or eroticism that flows gently and sexually.

Phone Sex Tips

And so, you’re all set on what to say during phone sex! But for good measure, here are a few phone sex tips to make the experience even more sexy!

Audio stimulation: If you’re experiencing sheer bliss, moaning is an excellent way to let your partner know you’re having a great time. Moaning is also a little technique you could use if you’re unsure of what to say next.
Sexy Q and A: Another great phone sex technique is to ask and answer x-rated questions. You can divide your time between 50 percent narration, and 50 percent Q and A.
Past trysts: reminiscing about your past sexual encounters is another fabulous idea. It also makes things a little easier for newbies because it’s more about remembering saucy details rather than conjuring up new ideas.
Create a new persona: sometimes it’s easier to slip into character when it comes to having phone sex, which might reduce feelings of being shy or embarassed. And deciding who you’ll be and how your character will unfold is all part of the fun too.
Giggling: It may sounds strange, but sometimes a cute giggle or two can actually be highly erotic. Giggling is an easy way to let go of some shyness or awkwardness, and if done well, can increase your partner’s level of arousal.
Vocab: if you feel as though you may be stuck for seductive words to use, you could always make a vocab list or even sentence prompts to guide you.
Indulge in erotica: another useful phone sex tip to use if you’re not sure where to begin, is to read an erotic story that’ll get the blood pumping.

Phone Sex Tips for Long Distance Relationships

If you and your other half are going the distance, phone sex is actually the perfect way to keep that sexual magic alive. It’s an opportunity to overcome some of the anxiety surrounding physical distance and physical intimacy.

The best phone sex tip for long distance relationships is use technology to your advantage. There are so many different and creative ways to enjoy phone sex long distance, be it over the phone, text, video call, images, certain apps, or audio messages.

We also recommend:

Setting aside time to engage in phone sex in order to keep the sexual momentum going.
Investing in a sex toy that works long distance, so that you or your partner can take control of each other’s pleasure, even from afar.
Make sure you won’t run into distractions, that your Internet connection works perfectly, and that all your batteries are charged (technological devices and sex toys!). It’s an instant mood killer if any of your devices die on you during your most intimate moments.

Phone Sex Examples

Now that you’ve got a solid phone sex foundation, here are some phone sex examples of what to say (for women) that you may want to use or alter during your new and erotic adventure…

Easing your way into your phone sex experience...

I’m wearing those lacy black panties and erotic suspender belt you love so much…
I’m feeling really turned on, wishing you were here. I’m not sure what I should do about it. Have any ideas?
My soft legs feel so silky against my fresh sheets.
Want to know what I thought about while masturbating the other night?

Then, ramp up the heat by talking about things you’d like to do to yourself…

I’m completely naked, gliding my fingers along my hard nipples. It feels so good!
My soft skin feels incredible while tracing my fingers down my waist and onto my thighs.
I’m getting wet just thinking about it. Maybe I should slip my panties off?
I wish you were here to feel how wet I am getting.
I’m circling my clit, wishing it were you feeling me.
My fingers feel so good inside of me, I want you to feel how wet I am.
I’m watching myself play in the mirror, and it’s making me throb.
I’m going to come for you! Do you want to hear me come?

Or, if you’d prefer to start zoning in on their pleasure, your phone sex experience could sound a little…

Dominant

If you’d like to be more dominant, you could give them commands and acts to fulfill, like:

I want you to touch yourself and, in detail, describe what you’re doing and how it makes you feel.
Don’t come yet. If you feel like you’re going to come, I want you to stop touching yourself for me.
Ok, come for me! You’re so sexy right now, you deserve a little reward…

Submissive

You can guide the conversation in such a way that you’re more submissive, allowing your partner to take the lead. For example:

Do you like what I am wearing? Should I take it off for you?
Where do you want me to touch myself?
I’m all yours, tell me what you want.
Can I come for you?

Alternatively, you could talk about the things you’d like to do to them by describing sexual acts…

Do you like it when I put your hard cock in my mouth, feeling just the tip?
Why don’t I gently massage your balls while I take all of you in my mouth?
My tongue is gliding along your shaft, how does that feel?
I’m straddled on top of you, my breasts in your face. What do you want to do with me?
I love how your hard dick feels inside of me. Riding you makes me so hot.
Remember the first time I ever gave you a blowjob? How naughty were we doing it in my parked car!
I love the idea of taking all of you while in the shower.
How about I give you a strip tease?
I love it when you come on my tits.

Fantasy-Based Phone Sex

Go outside of your realm, and talk about some of your sexiest fantasies. Remember that a fantasy can be just that… a fantasy. It need not be something you actually want to experience in real life.

Do you like the idea of having another sexy partner with us?
I would love to see you be intimate with someone else.
I want you to touch my throbbing clit in a public place, like a naughty little secret between only us.
I want you to blindfold me and touch me, make me scream for more until I come all over your fingers.
Imagine someone saw us? Watching them jerk off to our sweaty bodies really turns me on.

Or, you could go more in-depth by creating an entire scenario that’s visual and arousing, like a mini erotica written by you!

And then, just as an interesting side note, did you know...

Phone Sex Can Actually Be Healthy for You!

Phone sex, or sexting, is a great way to keep your sex life fresh and exciting. It’s also an excellent way to remind or tell your partner about your desires, and to initiate a conversation on new things you want to try or explore.

What better time is there to unleash your inner wants and needs, and to overcome inhibition than when both of you are feeling sexually aroused and engaged? It may sound daring or you might feel vulnerable talking about some of your fantasies and desires, but actually, vulnerability is what makes us feel alive, sexually or non-sexually!

So, are you ready to engage in a bit of raunchy phone sex? We’re sure you’re absolutely going to love it! But remember: stay within your comfort level, always have consent, and go at your own speed. Phone sex is an experience that should be pleasurable for all!