How to increase libido: 9 Small lifestyle changes to improve your sex life
There are many tips and trips available online on how to increase libido. And while some advice is great, the question is how easy is it to implement in our lives.
We all know that building habits take time, patience, and effort. The secret is to make those new changes achievable, and the best way to do it is by making small, tiny changes.
So, if you want to boost your libido, and improve your sex life, but don't have much time or capacity to change your life in drastic ways, here are nine small lifestyle changes to consider.
How to increase libido with these 9 small lifestyle changes
Practice gratitude
One small and easy-to-implement habit to help you improve your libido is starting a gratitude journal. Gratitude is a mindfulness practice that involves noticing good things that happen in your life. It can positively impact your life, your relationships, and sex.
One 2019 study found that a lack of gratitude from one partner in a relationship drastically decreased the overall satisfaction of the relationship for both partners.
A more recent study found that there is a positive link between sexual satisfaction in a relationship and gratitude. Researchers found that couples who practiced gratitude improved the couple’s sexual communal strength (aka SCS) which is a measure that indicates how motivated partners are to fulfill each other's needs in a relationship.
So, how can you introduce gratitude practice into your life? Well, it's pretty simple and only takes five minutes out of your day. Every morning or every evening, depending on what time is better with your schedule, write down three things you are grateful for in your life, and three good things that happened to you that day (or the day before).
If this is a bit hard, consider looking for a "gratitude journal" with prompts. Some people might find it easier to write answers to prompts rather than face a blank page.
Try meditation
Another small habit to consider is meditation. And before you roll your eyes at us, hear us out!
Meditation helps calm the mind and be more present in our bodies. When there is a better connection between the mind and the body, and when you are present with what is happening to you during sex, you'll experience much more pleasure.
The great news is that incorporating meditation into your everyday life is easier than you think. Even 10 minutes per day of meditation can give you the results you are looking for, so anyone can do it anytime.
One study found that people who meditated had more sexual arousal and better sexual functioning compared with people who didn't meditate. Another study found that people who practiced mindfulness during sex reported higher sexual satisfaction.
If you are new to the practice and unsure how to go about it, we recommend trying the Headspace app, which offers guided meditation options for beginners. You can choose the length and even the narrator, and it's very effective at helping you build this new habit that will boost your libido.
Go for daily walks
Hot girl walks (a #hotgirlwalk has close to one billion uses on TikTok!) are popular on social media not without a reason. Not only do you get to put on a cute outfit, and enjoy a little bit of sunshine on your walk, but it might also help you improve your libido.
Regular cardiovascular exercise is shown to have a positive effect on women's mood and sexual arousal. A larger study found that weekly cardiovascular exercise has a positive link to better overall sexual functioning in both men and women.
Walking is by far the easiest way to incorporate a little bit of cardio into your daily routine. It can be going for longer walks with your dog, or kids, or choosing to walk to your local grocery store or even to work instead of taking a car or public transport.
Going for walks on the weekends with your partner might even give you a chance to get your cardio in, and spend some quality time bonding with your partner. So, choose your favorite workout outfit, and comfortable walking shoes and have fun.
Take supplements
What we put in our bodies matters for our overall health, as well as our sexual health. And while a healthy and balanced whole-food diet is amazing, sometimes you might need a little boost to get your libido going.
So, you might want to consider taking a libido-boosting supplement as an addition to a healthy diet. Our Orgasm Glow supplement is packed with natural, active ingredients that help improve your libido and your mood.
Ashwagandha helps reduce stress, which is one of the most common reasons for people's low libidos. Damiana and Tribulus Terrestris have been shown to improve sexual desire in both men and women.
Eat more chocolate
Yes, you read that right! Chocolate is actually very good for our health, and adding good quality, dark chocolate into your diet can help boost your libido.
Chocolate promotes better mood and improves our cognitive function due to the feel-good hormone serotonin that is released when we eat it. Some research also shows that serotonin might play a part in improving blood flow into the genital area. Better blood flow means more arousal and higher libido.
To get the most benefits out of chocolate, consider choosing a high-quality dark chocolate that's made with natural ingredients and has as little added sugar and other processed ingredients as possible.
Brands like Hu Kitchen (available in the US and UK), and Loco Love (available internationally) are great brands that make delicious and healthy chocolate.
Make alcohol a treat
It’s very tempting to get a drink after work a few times a week, especially during a happy hour. The same goes for adding a few cocktails here and there when you go on a dinner date with friends on the weekend. However, if you’re looking to improve your libido, you might want to eliminate the amount of alcohol you enjoy every week.
You see, research shows that consuming alcohol might enhance sexual desire for women, but it lowers physiological arousal and might decrease genital response. What it means is that you might feel horny, but your body might not be as receptive to stimulation and you might have trouble reaching an orgasm.
Alcohol consumption also has a negative effect on males. It is linked to sexual dysfunction in males, including difficulty reaching orgasm and erectile dysfunction. Alcohol reduces the blood flow to the genitals, which can negatively affect your ability to get aroused and stay hard during sex.
While you don't have to cut out alcohol from your life entirely if you want to increase your libido and improve your sex life, consider treating alcohol as an occasional treat rather than an everyday or every weekend thing.
When you do choose to treat yourself and drink, opt for a glass of good quality red wine rather than beer or sugary cocktails, as red wine is known for various health benefits.
Consider sleep divorce
Sleep divorce might sound scary, but it really isn't. It involves you and your partner sleeping separately, either in different beds but in the same room, or different rooms altogether.
And it's much more common than you think. A 2017 survey from the National Sleep Foundation shows that even 1 in 4 married couples choose to sleep in separate beds in order to get a better night's sleep.
Getting plenty of sleep is essential for a good mood and better everyday functioning. That includes a healthy and happy libido. One study found that women who got one hour of sleep more per night were more likely to engage in partnered sex the next day.
A 2023 survey from the Sleep Foundation found that over 50% of couples who chose to implement sleep divorce reported that their sleep quality improved. So, consider sleeping in separate beds or even bedrooms from your partner.
If you are feeling anxious about it, or unsure, don't worry. It doesn't have to be forever, and you don't even have to sleep separately every day. Consider trying sleeping separately a few nights per week and see if that helps you feel more rested the next day.
Listen, if sleeping separately is not your thing, but you still want to find a way to improve your sleep, consider the Scandinavian sleeping method which involves sleeping under separate duvets. Small changes like this one might be enough to see improvement in your sleep, mood, and your libido.
Do Kegels
Are you doing your Kegels regularly? If the answer is "no" and you want to learn how to improve your libido, doing Kegels is a good place to start.
Kegel exercises have plenty of benefits for all genders, they help promote healthy pelvic floor muscles, improve orgasms, and deal with premature ejaculation. It only takes a few minutes out of your day, so it's definitely not a hard new habit to implement. Oh, and you can even do them on the go!
Prioritize self-pleasure
Self-pleasure is an essential part of our sexuality. It's a way to show yourself some love, and even if you're in a relationship, you should still find time for it.
Sexologist Juliet Allen says that masturbation is a way to get to know ourselves better. "Masturbation is essential because it gives us an opportunity to explore our own body and discover what truly turns us on. We learn how we like to be touched and pleasured and can then share that valuable knowledge with our sexual partners," she writes.
More self-pleasure will lead to better sex. One study found that 35% of women who frequently climaxed during partnered sex masturbated often. If you were worried that masturbation might take away from partnered sex, don't! They complement each other.
So, find time throughout the week for self-pleasure. It can be with your favorite toys, or without, as long as you get to have a moment for yourself.